Suffering with Chronic Pain

by David
(USA)

Pushing through each moment of each day. Wanting to not feel pain. Wanting so badly to have my life back. Wanting to be a productive, proud, happy person again.

Wanting to "mind over matter" the pain signal. I want so badly to open my eyes in the morning and not hurt.

Many years of 24/7 pain.
I've been told too many times, by too many Doctors that no one can help me.
I must help myself, right now. There are no procedures, therapies or exercises left to save me.

I try to appear active, healthy and "happy" to all, but I fail with that effort with my closest loved one(s). That hurts a lot.
I would not want to live with me. I don't know how she does it, but she does, she loves me. Thank god.

I am so lucky for so many things. At my lowest lows (which I seem to have about every few minutes) I remind my self to count my blessings. Pictures of friends and love ones are right in front of my face.

As I attempt to sit at my desk and concentrate on some semblence of a task at hand.... frustration due to the pain of not being able to sit with out hurting prevails.
Take medicine, stretch, walk... get some small level of distraction, try to sit and work again...sometimes I can get in a productive hour here or there. It still feels like a failure most of the time.

Fighting a losing battle, constantly trying to "get better", "fix it" or "control it" for many years now.

After reading this article, I realize it's time to stop that cause it just ain't workin!

So, per the advice of your home page article....I must find the most enjoyable thing that I can do and do that all the time. " A good distraction that will eventually make the pain nothing more than a background static".

I've been thinking about this and just what I might try to do to save myself from this life of misery for a long time, but have yet come to a solution.

Comments for Suffering with Chronic Pain

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Thank you for caring
by: David

Hi Dave,

Thanks so much for your comments. It helps to know there are people like you who understand and care enough to write.

I am currently working with a therapist who gave me the exact same advice, that Is, fInd something interesting enough for me to concentrate on in hopes of a "good distraction".

I have always been an active, outdoor excercise minded, sports enthusiast. When I am able to push myself to do these things that used to bring me so much pleasure, , it sometimes is a good distraction. Sometimes,( lately most times,) while out doing these things, I have to stop because the pain overwhelms the pleasure and I feel defeated again.

I am trying to adjust my mindset, so that I can just be grateful for the moments of good distraction and not focus as much on the misery that has become my existence.

Best of luck to you

Congratulations
by: Dave

Congratulations David, I think you are doing great.

I say that because you are still working and fighting to manage your life and deal with the pain. I know it ain't easy.

Learning to accept your pain is important. Accepting the fact that nothing is going to make you pain free, and moving on from there is a big step.

There are medications and exercises that might help, or they might not, everybody is different. I have found that focusing on things to relieve my pain, makes me focus more on my pain, and makes me think about the pain more. Like the opposite of a distraction.

I search for distractions because they are my only relief. I don't know you or your situation so I can't say what will work for you.

But you can't think about it in terms of: Does this make my pain better? That only focuses more attention on the pain. Think in terms of: Does this interest me? Is it something that I would like to do? Would this be fun? How about that David, look for something fun.

Again, I can't say what will work for you, but anything that requires focused concentration can be a distraction. How about learning to juggle? Or learning to analyze stocks? Or play online games or poker? I just now thought about poker, that could be dangerous, playing for money. But it would hold your attention, and be a great distraction.

Those ideas might seem silly, and they might be silly, but I think that is okay. If learning a new trick or mastering a new skill requires your full concentration, then that is a few minutes or hours or whatever, that you are not thinking about your pain.

The best pain management tool we have is right between our ears, our brains.

I have found that the more involved I can get doing something the less I notice my pain, at least for awhile.

David, good luck and keep fighting the good fight. Please keep in touch, and let us know what you are doing.

You can have a life. It might not be the life you would have chosen, but it can be a good life and you can enjoy it.

Your friend,
Dave

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