Suffering with Chronic Pain
Pushing through each moment of each day. Wanting to not feel pain. Wanting so badly to have my life back. Wanting to be a productive, proud, happy person again.
Wanting to "mind over matter" the pain signal. I want so badly to open my eyes in the morning and not hurt.
Many years of 24/7 pain.
I've been told too many times, by too many Doctors that no one can help me.
I must help myself, right now. There are no procedures, therapies or exercises left to save me.
I try to appear active, healthy and "happy" to all, but I fail with that effort with my closest loved one(s). That hurts a lot.
I would not want to live with me. I don't know how she does it, but she does, she loves me. Thank god.
I am so lucky for so many things. At my lowest lows (which I seem to have about every few minutes) I remind my self to count my blessings. Pictures of friends and love ones are right in front of my face.
As I attempt to sit at my desk and concentrate on some semblence of a task at hand.... frustration due to the pain of not being able to sit with out hurting prevails.
Take medicine, stretch, walk... get some small level of distraction, try to sit and work again...sometimes I can get in a productive hour here or there. It still feels like a failure most of the time.
Fighting a losing battle, constantly trying to "get better", "fix it" or "control it" for many years now.
After reading this article, I realize it's time to stop that cause it just ain't workin!
So, per the advice of your home page article....I must find the most enjoyable thing that I can do and do that all the time. " A good distraction that will eventually make the pain nothing more than a background static".
I've been thinking about this and just what I might try to do to save myself from this life of misery for a long time, but have yet come to a solution.